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Top Ten Things Dogs Don't Understand Just because I'm eating, it doesn't mean you can. I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT. NOT. Oh, ok. Just this once. Getting up DOESN'T mean Walkies. I know it's a nice leg, but don't ride it. Barking at guests ten minutes after they've arrived is stupid. The cat has every right to be in the sitting room. The command "SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!" means just that. He shouldn't jump on your bed when he's soaking wet. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her. It's not a laugh to practice woofing at 3 a.m. Crapping on the carpet is not something deserving of a cookie.

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