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Things That Make You Go Hmmmm... Is it really "all-purpose" flour? I mean can I use it to bathe in or use it as a driveway sealer? Has the woman who keeps saying "There is nothing more disgusting than annoying static cling" ever given mouth-to-mouth to an elk? When the phone wakes us up at 1:00 a.m. and it's a drunk trying to order a sausage pizza, why do we say we think they have the wrong number? Why do they call it life insurance? Why is an outdoor theater called a "drive-in"? Why do relatives ask "Would you like to see the new baby?" Do they have an old baby they're hiding in the garage? If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? What's another word for synonym? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Why do they report power outages on TV? Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

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